Released today in 1986: Sinful!

MDM MDM7

MDM MDM7

Ah, the art of the 80s music video. One wonders where the directors of these short movies got their ideas from. For example, what must the storyboard for the promotional clip filmed for Pete Wylie’s Sinful! have looked like?

Scene: Victorian bathhouse with vaulted ceiling; white tiled swimming pool, drained; painted wrought iron staircase leading up to raised observation gallery.

0:00 Enter Pete, walking to centre of dry swimming pool pit. Brief images of agonized-looking body-stocking clad dancers with plumes of primary-coloured hair spouting from the top of their headgear superimposed over main picture at intervals.
0:13 Dwarf in white suit with hand-held video camera runs towards Pete filming him as he mimes to track.
0:25 Enter team of bowler hatted business men in suits take a synchronized bow.
0:31 Cut to aviator flapping enormous fake bats’ wings sewn on to his overalls.
0:39 Man apparently dressed as children’s television presenter Timmy Mallet attempts to open a deck chair while uninterested Pete strides past him.
0:53 Woman resembling synchronized swimmer with life ring lying on tiled floor of empty pool mouths backing vocals.
0:55 Clip of two brutes in yellow muscle vests squaring up to each other.
1:00 Body-stockinged dancers do their bit; excited dwarf runs around filming them.
1:18 Pete descends staircase while a gentleman in a pink suit gaffa-taped to a supporting column tries to escape.
1:25 Socialite in little black dress and elbow-length gloves and a blue sash in her Jerry Hall-style hair kisses a male shop mannequin. The dwarf continues to tail Pete as he walks past undressed mannequins lined up on the raised balcony; Pete stops when confronted by doppelganger of previously mentioned socialite (this one with pink ribbon in hair) making out with female mannequin.
1:38 CU: whiskers appear to be growing on the faces of the yellow-vested bully boys.
1:40 Businessmen file in to pit in unison and take their seats on office swivel chairs, strumming their fingers on a make shift desk they’ve brought with them for the occasion. Pete and dwarf, seated on edge of pool, observe from above; latter is more interested in Pete than the spectacle going on below.
1:54 An aquanaut emerges from nowhere and Pete investigates.
2:04 The thugs now have full beards.
2:13 The little man in the white suit films arrival of four sexy nuns with elaborate wimples and slit-sided habits who have appeared on the balcony. Nuns provocatively hook their legs over the balustrade while having a good chuckle.
2:48 The thugs’ beards grow to their ankles in a matter of seconds.
2:52 All hell breaks loose. Dancers and businessmen are in pool area, being chased by overexcited camera-wielding dwarf; aviator attempts to take flight from diving board.
3:08 Pete gets ready to make his escape via a rope ladder.
3:19 Aviator crashes to tiled floor of pool face first.
3:21 The snooty girls in the little black dresses flick their hair and inspect their hands in mirror image of each other while Pete looks on, rubbing his chin.
3:32 Nuns perform risqué cartwheels.
3:38 Pete and the dwarf in the white suit are suddenly alone in the swimming pool.
3:47 The dwarf retreats, taking his camera with him.
3:49 Fade.

What could it all have meant?

NEW SINGLES on sale from Apr. 21
1981
CLASSIX NOUVEAUX (Sal Solo) Tokyo (Liberty BP397)
The UNDERTONES It’s Going To Happen (Ardeck ARDS8)
1986
HEAVEN 17 Foolish Thing To Do (Virgin VS859)
ORCHESTRAL MANEOUVRES IN THE DARK If You Leave (Virgin VS843)
PUBLIC IMAGE LIMITED (John Lydon) Home (Virgin VS855)
Pete WYLIE Sinful! (MDM MDM7)

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